This is why you cant trust women, even when theyre mouth is closed theyre still lying to you
you do realize that this is really hurtful right?
i did not do this to show how i am ‘lying’ to men or anyone, it’s not about how you, as a man, should feel about it - it’s about myself.
to me your statement sounds as if the left side of this picture is something awful or horrible. and no, it’s not. it is my face - with and without makeup. and whether i chose to wear it or not is MY AND JUST MY decision. and when i do, i do it for myself - so that i feel good about myself - not for you.
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
this is why my mum got a weird shrek-green for her newest one.
we’re all friends now but just wait until the Olympics start
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
( Supermishamiga , you asked? )
Low and behold , what everyone was asking for.
The year is 2060.
It’s no longer Thanksgiving. It’s pre-Christmas.
People buy Christmas trees in April.
All children by age 8 are required to work in Toy Shops.
People begin worshipping Santa.
Macys joins the Illuminati and together take over the government.
Furbies and Talking Elmo’s grow minds of their own and murder the masses.
We are doomed.
And now, the weather.
Back in prehistoric times it was just a free for all. God was putting antlers on everything and made 7 foot tall gophers with wings, it was a mess.
Look at this poor, impractical bastard.
The prehistoric era was God’s Deviantart stage.
Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.
Sometimes I’m confused by Canadian stereotypes but then I realize that we literally dump maple syrup onto the snow, wait for it to get gooey and then scoop it up with a stick and eat it
you better not be fucking with me canada is this for real
it is all too real
and it’s motherfucking delicious
Tom Hiddleston getting a nipple twister from on old Korean lady… I will never be the same again.
Benedict reading the lyrics to R. Kelly’s song